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 Thrive in Five
By Janet Chambers
Janet resides in Northern Kentucky with her husband, Mike. She has 3 daughters,
and a stepson that have blessed her with 8 grandchildren. She is an eleven year breast
cancer survivor. In 2002, she founded I Have Wings Breast Cancer Foundation
(www.ihavewings.org) and is currently the Executive Director. The loves of her life: Her
husband, the foundation, her children and grandchildren, her flower garden,
and her Brittney Spaniel bless most of her time and energy!
The year of 1993 started with a BANG! My life as I knew it
seemed to be falling apart around me like a clown car at
the circus! My marriage of fifteen years was failing, I had three
adorable daughters who needed stability, and I needed a car
and a better job. Like many daughters, I fell back on my own
mother and in March, 1993, myself, and my three daughters
Linda, Shelly and Kelsey moved in with her.
One night after dinner, mom said “Honey, you just need to
get back to your roots! Let’s go to church tonight. They’re having
a congregational healing mass and you just can’t do this
pain alone anymore!”
In an effort to please mom and, after all, I did just turn her quiet lifestyle into chaos, I
replied “Fine”. 7 p.m. church was packed. Forgiveness must be in high demand these days,
or maybe it just seemed that way to me. So I prayed.
“Dear God, you know I have not always lived according to your word. I certainly have
not made the best choices or honored Your will. Please love me anyway. Send Your spirit to
heal my insecurities that keep You from entering my life. Forgive me of anything I’ve done
consciously or unconsciously that pushed You out of my life. Oh, and thank you ahead of
time for hearing my prayers. Amen.”
With mom happy and that behind me, I was feeling forgiven and recharged to get on
with my life. I felt invincible. Now I was ready to conquer anything in my path- or was I?
Time just seemed to fly by while living with mom. We enjoyed a cup of tea at night while
watching updates on the OJ trial. A year and a half later (August 1994), I bought a small
2 bedroom house not far from mom, convenient for the girls to get off the bus and walk
to our home later. I even started line dancing and going out with friends again. Two years
later (June 1996), after being courted by Mike, got married in Saint Thomas and upon return
threw a reception with our now ‘Brady Bunch’ family. In 1997, we brought our dream
home and 1998 ushered in a new job that I really loved. I thought life was good and that
God must have heard my prayer. This brings us up to 1999, just after my 40th birthday.
July 3, 1999. Ringing phone cuts the morning silence. I answer with a sleepy “Hello”. “Janet?… I’m sorry, but I wanted to let you know as soon as possible that your biopsy results
are back (silence): It’s breast cancer.”
I think at that point I defined the term “uncontrollable crying”. A lot had happened since 1993. God, did you really hear my prayer? Had my day to day been so busy that I forgot
to pray? Was I so onsumed in my new life and raising my children that I unconsciously
ignored the most important aspect of it? Then those five little words mom so desperately
pleaded with me to absorb, came back… “Go back to your roots”.
With the help of the scripture in my Jerusalem Bible, I soon found out my personal,
practical, secrets of a THRIVER. THRIVE in FIVE!
1. REST
Matthew 11: 28-30
Come to me, all of you who labor and are overburdened, and I will give you rest.
I think I mentioned that Mike and I purchased a new home. Shortly after moving in, we
started to purge an area of the backyard of annoying, never tended weeds that were climbing
our trees. Similar to cancer, the weeds were out of control, destructive and ultimately
suffocating the life right out of the once healthy trees. After I was diagnosed, Mike finished
the project by creating a healing garden. A place of solace where I could restore my energy,
renew my spirit, meditate or pray, grieve or just have a good cry (as we all need a good cry
once in awhile when going through chemo). The garden was at the back of the yard, which
for some, was just a skip but for me, Miss No Energy, seemed like an all day hike! It turned
out to be an excellent place to escape reality, if even for a few minutes. Not many of us get
our eight hours at night (especially if you’re waking yourself up in the middle of the night,
munching on dry cereal to prevent nausea), so an occasional siesta in the garden was just
what I needed.
2. REMOVE THE GARBAGE
Philippians 4: 8
Fill your minds with everything that is true, everything that is noble, everythingthat is good and pure, everything that we love and honor and everything that can
be thought virtuous or worthy of praise.
Psalm 90: 14
Let us wake in the morning filled with your love and sing and be happy all our days.
Remember when you were reading your favorite comic book or magazine and your
mom said to you “Stop reading that junk, garbage in, garbage out”! I think its way broader
than that now! Garbage enters our lives so quickly, on so many levels, that sometimes it
just sneaks in without us giving it a thought. Preservatives in our foods, electronic games,
TV’s, computers, cell phones, pornography, twitter, facebook. Everything is accessible
at our fingertips and in a moment’s notice, life is getting faster and more furious! After
stumbling across this insightful passage in Philippians, I religiously made “Me Time” each
morning and immediately added more organic fresh fruit and vegetables into my diet. You
wouldn’t start exercising without a warm up. Why start you day without a mental warm
up? This is a practice I continue today. Usually, I enjoy my morning coffee and my Bible
on the deck outside the kitchen. I thought it was so quiet and peaceful until one day a
friend said “Janet, where are you? It sounds like you’re in paradise!” I laughed! I guess it
was paradise! My little paradise of robins singing, bees buzzing, hummingbirds zipping,
woodpeckers knocking, locusts playing out a live concert and doves cooing. My very loud,
peaceful paradise! Where is your peaceful paradise? THRIVERS learn quickly to remove
the garbage!
3. PUT ON A NEW DRESS
Ephesians 4:22-24
You must give up your old way of life; you must put aside your old self, which gets
corrupted by following illusory desires. Your mind must be renewed by a spiritual
revolution, so that you can put on a new self that has been created in God’s way, in the
goodness and holiness of the truth.
Have you ever put on an outfit and started to head for the door, just to turn around and
change to a completely different dress? Yes, I am not proud to admit it, but I have too! I
learned that to THRIVE through cancer sometimes we need a change of surroundings; I
call it “putting on a new dress” or as the Bible says “put on a new self ” if you prefer! We
need to get out of our hum drum routines once and awhile, remove ourselves from unhealthy
situations or a negative atmosphere in order to heal. Out with the old, in with the
new! A change in venue, so to speak for our mind, body and soul! You can start with small
changes as I did or to a whole lifestyle revolution. Mine started the nights before chemo
treatments. We were a two income family, with 4 children in private schools. There was
no time for me to be sick or take a leave of absence. So, I savored my energy for the work
week. My boss was great and I frequently took work home, but I couldn’t take advantage.
So, each night I ate a quick snack and headed to bed, totally and utterly exhausted. Every
night EXCEPT the nights before chemo. Those nights called for a long bubble bath, soft
music, a cup of herbal tea and a book. Sometimes I fell asleep in the tub! Something different,
something relaxing, something that said; “By golly, tonight I’m something special!”
Since cancer, my lifestyle has had a serious makeover. I realize that I AM something
special, EVERYDAY! Things that seem to hold great importance before cancer seem mundane
now. Removing negativity, changing old habits into new positive experiences is the
new norm.
Now I’m sure you can make a ton of significant life fulfilling changes and the Good
Book isn’t referencing a bubble bath, but hey, we all need to start someplace!! Changing
one routine could change another, and another. Before you know it, you have replaced
several bad habits with good ones! Tada! Welcome the new you!
4. REJOICE: FIND LAUGHTER AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH
Colossians 3:16-17
With gratitude in your hearts, sing psalms and hymns and inspired songs to God
Psalm 47: 1
Clap your hands, all you peoples, acclaim God with shouts of joy
Be glad, express joy, sing, laugh! It really is healing! I could share a bazillion funny stories
about my cancer journey. Like the night of our Halloween bonfire. Unfortunately for
me, I naturally inherited the “vain” gene from my mom. Someone told her in high school
that if she cut her eyelashes off, they would come back twice as thick. You guessed it, they
didn’t, and she spent her entire life utilizing her children to put her false lashes meticulously
on, one at a time. I was, of course, the best at putting them on, so I frequently got
the privilege of helping her. Being so experienced, you understand, I just had to wear false
eyelashes after mine fell out! Unfortunately for me, I must have gotten just a little too close
to the fire! However, it was a perfect night to have the funniest, scariest, most twisted and
snarly eyelashes. What a hoot and what a super disguise!
But one of the funniest was the night the new boy came over. My oldest daughter Linda,
was a teenager and one of her high school goals was to attend every other local high
school’s prom. Which means we should have installed a revolving door for the new boys
every week! One evening during a rather quiet Friday dinner, I decided not to put on my
wig or scarf. Loud chiming of the door bell broke our line of conversation. Sternly, I looked
around the table and said “Okay, which one of you invited someone over?” All heads were
shaking no… Linda jumped to answer the door. As she lets in the newest boy who came
courting, she stops him dead in the entry hall and says “You can’t go in there, stay right
here” stretching out both arms to try to ‘hold him captive’ in the entry. In a panic, with no
scarf, no wig, and no hat I ran into the bathroom, slamming the door! Kelsey, the youngest,
exclaims “No worry mom, I’ll take care of it!” Kelsey flies upstairs, grabs my wig, and lugs
it down the steps… clutching it and swinging it right in front of the “new boy” detained in
the entry, and yelling “I got it, I got it”! We never saw him again!
5. HOPE
Isaiah 40: 31
But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar on eagles
wings; they will run and not grow weary, walk and not be faint.
My ultimate favorite scripture reading! How powerful, how inspiring, how refreshing
are these words! I can’t think of anything better… no exhaustion, renewed strength, and
no boundaries! When we really have hope, there is no stopping us. Not in life, not in recovery,
not in anything! Reading these words inspire me every day to help others soar.
After recovery and getting actively involved with cancer survivors in our local community,
I Have Wings Breast Cancer Foundation took flight in 2002. WINGS is an acronym for
“With Inspiration No-one Goes Solo”. Our mission is the 3 E’s: Educate our community on
breast cancer prevention. Ease stress of families undergoing a breast cancer diagnosis. And
Endorsing breast cancer research. We accomplish this by assisting families emotionally
and financially during a cancer diagnosis and supporting Wood Hudson Cancer Research
Laboratory. We are located in Northern Kentucky and assist families in the Cincinnati, OH
Tri-State area. For more information, go to www.ihavewings.org.
Looking back, Mom was right, I couldn’t do it alone and I needed to get back to my
roots. I needed some serious change in my life. Whether it’s the food we eat, the company
we keep, the books we read, or how we accept ourselves. I realize now that God did hear my
prayer. That pain prepares you for joy, disease prepares you for health, and that He sent me
everything I needed to turn all those difficulties into victories. It’s called healing.
Thrive in Five is about turning those negative matters in our lives to positive healing
ones… rest, remove the garbage, put on a new dress, laugh and make others laugh, and
finally, HOPE!
What are you waiting for? Join me as a THRIVER! There’s room in this club for all of
us! |
